Governor Sanford Parody Song

This is too funny not to post.

Thanks to my wife who found this and passed it along.

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Why It’s ALWAYS the Feds Who Do the Corruption Cases in Chicago

This, boys and girls, is why it takes the FBI and the U.S. Justice Department to investigate corruption in Chicago.

A politically connected Cook County state’s attorney’s office employee threatened to use her position to expose her ex-boyfriend as a federal informant against the Outfit, voice mail messages played in court suggest.

[snip]

[Patti] Simone was once spokeswoman for former State’s Atty. Richard Devine but now makes $67,000 a year working in Alvarez’s narcotics unit. She has continued to work at the Cook County Criminal Court building since the tapes surfaced.

She is the daughter of Palos Township Democratic Committeeman Sam Simone.

The godfather to her children is Richie “The Cat” Catazone, reputed to run the Chicago Outfit’s 26th Street gambling operation, while [Nicky] Rosales’ cousin is convicted mob hit man Harry Aleman, Rosales said.

Testifying Friday, Rosales, a former Cook County sheriff’s officer who grew up in Bridgeport, said he was “scared” by the messages Simone left.

So a woman who would let an Outfit Guy be her childrens’ godfather was the spokeswoman for the Cook County State’s Attorney. And her soon-to-be-ex-husband was the cousin of one of the Outift’s most notorious hitmen and allowed to work as a Cook County sheriff officer.

Can’t say I’m surprised that corruption both political and mob-related are so prominent in Chicago.
[Hat tip: Second City Cop]

The First Lines…

of stories I have yet to write (or might never write),

The woman wearing a white tank top and a gray snakeskin-patterned skirt had a smoldering cigarette dangling out of her mouth.

“Now what?” he asked the woman who was lying in bed naked next to him.

“Phil Van Dyke is wondering how many more ex-girlfriends are going to find him on Facebook,” read his status message.

Mike would have been just fine if he hadn’t been stupid enough to ask the guy why everyone calls him “Animal.”

“You said what! That she was starting to look fat?”

Denise was boiling her butt plugs in a pot on the stove when the doorbell rang.

What came to be known as the “Shit Commencement Address” was delivered on May 12, 2007 at Gavinhurst University by famed IT entrepreneur Ted Upartyski.

“No, you most certainly can not borrow my Mustang again.”

Let’s just say that getting a full cavity search at the airport before your vacation officially begins is a pretty good indicator that your trip is not going to be filled with rest and relaxation.