Avatar the Movie

I saw Avatar this past weekend with my wife. Not the 3-D version. The movie theater near my wife’s hometown in rural Ohio just had the regular 2-D version. The special effects were very cool. The characters were one-dimensional and the plot was predictable. But it’s a fun, shut-off-you-mind, kind of adventure movie.

Though, this opinion is apparently the most wrong one.

There are only two approved interpretations of this film:

1) It Changes Film-making Forevah!!

2) It’s Yet Another Example of Our Horrible Racist Culture!!

Update: This is the best (and funniest) review of the movie that I have read. From The Filthy Critic.


All Hail the Boob

I’ve got boobs on the brain.

And it’s the fault of Ursula K. Le Guin. It started with the following passage from her book Changing Planes in the story “Woeful Tales from Mahigul.”

The Vens, contemptuous of all Obtrian religions, enforced public worship of their deity, the Great Mother of the Teats. The Sosa, Astasosa, and Sosasta learned to prostrate themselves before huge mammary effigies, and the few remaining Astasa and Affastasa learned to dance in a circle about small tit fetishes.

It’s a funny take on religion, in a very good unconventional work of fiction. But then I got to thinking that the passage could also be about culture and the million ways that women’s breasts are used to sell things or to simply sell themselves as assets. Witness the Victoria’s Secret commercial where they claim their new push-up bras can add two cup sizes (HELLO BOMBSHELL!). Based on their models, and their coat-hanger figures complete with non-existent bosoms, a push-up bra would be necessary to add cleavage where none exists. My wife checked them out at the mall today and said they might even qualify as a bullet-proof vest they’re so thick.

Anyway, this reminded me of a picture I took when my wife and I were in Argentina in 2003. This was an advertisement inside one of the subway stations.

There you have the image: Glass of Beer = Boob. For years boobs have been used to sell beer, but I don’t think I’ve seen them put together as closely as this. My rough translation of the Spanish: “It doesn’t matter what you see. It matters what it is. What matters is the beer.”

Meanwhile, this being the Season for Giving (or Buying Gobs of Stuff) you can get these ornaments for your Christmas tree.

[Hat Tip: Trollop With a Laptop]

They would definitely be a conversation piece. You could even dance around the Christmas tree indulging any “small tit fetishes” you might have.

E-Books and Royalties

Publishers are arguing that they own the digital (electronic) rights to creative works, despite the fact that digital editions didn’t exist when the original publishing contracts were signed. From the New York Times,

On Friday, Markus Dohle, chief executive of Random House, sent a letter to dozens of literary agents, writing that the company’s older agreements gave it “the exclusive right to publish in electronic book publishing formats.”

Backlist titles, which continue to be reprinted long after their initial release, are crucial to publishing houses because of their promise of lucrative revenue year after year. But authors and agents are particularly concerned that traditional publishers are not offering sufficient royalties on e-book editions, which they point out are cheaper for publishers to produce. Some are considering taking their digital rights elsewhere, which could deal a financial blow to the hobbled publishing industry.

The two biggest cases regarding this are Joeseph Heller’s Catch-22 and the works of William Styron. This sounds like flailing about to me on the part of publishers. The publishing industry doesn’t know which direction their industry is headed. So they’re trying to grab as much stuff as they can and take it with them as the market lurches in a new direction, nevermind whether they can actually carry it all or have the right to do so.

NOW Shifts Its Aims

I have a recent press release from the National Organization of Woman (NOW). It addresses what some see as a controversy in NOW’s stance against the so-called “botax.”

The National Organization for Women has heard from many people expressing frustration and anger at NOW’s stance against the tax on cosmetic surgery procedures in the current Senate Health Care bill. NOW did not come to this decision lightly. It is only in its defense of women living in the culture-at-large that we took such a stand.

Despite our best efforts over the course of four decades in changing the idea of women as commodities to be bought and sold, it’s clear we have failed.

“I know a lot of women whose earning power stalled out or kicked down as they entered into their 50s, unlike their male counterparts’, whose really went up,” said Terry O’Neil. “We’ve given up fighting for equal pay and against age discrimination.”

The fact remains that “women are more attractive and desirable to men when they have large breasts.”

We don’t consider this a setback. We consider this an adjustment to the realities of the 21st Century and the inherent inviolable structure of American society.

“Coupled with the new, middle-class chic of Flaunt It parties, surgeon safaris, and plastic pageants, it’s apparent that” this is what Feminism means today; a better body and look for everyone.

“’The ‘standard’ created for Latina and African-American women’s bodies was established [in] much the same way that standards are created for women in the US and Asia—through music videos, magazines, television, and movies.’ The inherent assertion of plastic surgery is that the body can be re-shaped into a single, American ideal that all women have the possibility—even the right—to achieve.”
NOW supports all women in their right to achieve the American ideal.

NOW president Terry O’Neill admits to having undergone procedures for breast enlargement, tummy tucks, and botox. “I feel more confident representing the interests of women knowing I have an ideal body. With better confidence in my body I can better represent the interests of women.”

NOW will soon provide a list of “beauty standards, sexual ideals and gender stereotypes that girls and women are expected to follow.”

Among the other causes NOW will be taking up include making cosmetic surgery procedures tax-deductible for women as it can be shown that better-looking women have bigger paychecks.

The Love Your Body Campaign will be augmented to include tips on the best body enhancement procedures to undertake depending on a woman’s desires. It will also be renamed Love Your Hot Bod.

The English Bible Is Too Liberal

That’s according to Andrew Schlafly of the famed Conservapedia, and son of Feminine Inferiority Advocate Phylis Schlafly, English translations of the Bible have a liberal bias.

“Professors are the most liberal group of people in the world, and it’s professors who are doing the popular modern translations of the Bible.”

If you trust these people to interpret reality, then I suppose you’ll be excited about their new Bible translation, if they can agree on a proper text first…These are the people who still claim Oxford University and Wikipedia are still lying about Dr. Richard Dawkins being a professor for a time at Oxford University.

Of course, Dawkins was indeed the Simonyi Professor for the Public Understanding of Science at Oxford, as Conservapedia’s own entry on Dawkins now acknowledges to be true (although its Bias in Wikipedia page still accuses its editors of lying in service to liberalism for stating the very same thing).


The written debate over whether or not Oxford is better qualified than Conservapedia to decide who is and isn’t a professor at Oxford lasted more than a year and involved tens of thousands of words. This is more time and energy than usually goes into such wiki-arguments. The chief proponent of the notion that Conservapedia is more authoritative than Oxford was Andrew Schlafly…

Oh, I’m sure this is going to be a high-quality translation, one that will be passed down through the ages like the King James version. The rewrites have already begun…

For example,

Not enough love of money is the root of all evil. (1 Timothy 6:10)

And he saith unto them, Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men. You shall catch them and they wilt be glad to pay thee many farthings to hear the Word of God for so you might acquire a larger house for thine own family. (Matthew 4:19)

And on the eighth day God said, Let there be sport! For competition shall reveal the true worth of men. Those of worth shall be gracious in their debt to the Lord for bestowing them with such talents. And they shall sing praises to the Lord in thanks for their victories on the field of sport. (Genesis 2:3)

And if thy lower member riseth up while thou looketh on a woman or man to lust after him or her, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell. Matthew (5:30)

How I love my coat of many colors. (Genesis 37:23)

The Conservative Bible (aka Bible, Going Rogue version), available soon wherever righteous books are sold.