Welcome to My New Home

Welcome to the new home of the blog Honest Errors. As you can see, I’m on WordPress now (finally). Like many many other bloggers I got tired of the limited look and feel of Blogger. All of the themes seem very 2004. Not to mention it just seems that Blogger just does not appear to be evolving with the web.

So please update your links, and I hope you like the new look and feel.

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Six Simple Tips for Writing a Literary Manifesto

My post Six Simple Tips for writing a Literary Manifesto is up over the PopMatters Re:Print blog.

So you want to write a Literary Manifesto that will make us readers stand up and demand a New Kind of Literature. Here are a few simple tips to help you earn great renown for writing a provocative, ire-raising, Literary gauntlet-throwdown that will be taken seriously by the Literati.

Enjoy.

Classical Music as a Weapon

I haven’t been to the UK in nearly a dozen years. Apparently, they’re on the cutting edge in keeping teenagers from loitering in public areas through the blaring of classical music by composers such as Mozart, Beethoven, and Rachmaninoff. It keeps the kids away because they don’t like the music. Then there’s this,

In January it was revealed that West Park School, in Derby in the midlands of England, was “subjecting” (its words) badly behaved children to Mozart and others. In “special detentions,” the children are forced to endure two hours of classical music both as a relaxant (the headmaster claims it calms them down) and as a deterrent against future bad behavior (apparently the number of disruptive pupils has fallen by 60 per cent since the detentions were introduced.)

One news report says some of the children who have endured this Mozart authoritarianism now find classical music unbearable.

Okay, if they’re going to use classical music, why can’t they use something truly annoying like atonal/12-tone Schoenberg or the doodle music of Philip Glass or the shrieking of Whitney Houston?…I guess they’d rather ruin things like melody and harmony for people…

[Hat tip: Slashdot]

Food Network Humor

The site Food Network Humor has quickly become one of my favorite web sites to read on a daily basis. Why? Because they find things like this,

Paula Deen putting hamburgers on glazed donuts, topped with fried eggs and bacon. I like all of those things, some of them even together. But all of them on one “burger?” I’m feeling backed-up and nauseous just thinking about trying to eat of those things. This proves that not everything tastes better with bacon on it.

What’s On People’s Bookshelves

I found this via The Rumpus.

You can learn a lot about someone by seeing what books they’ve kept. Perusing someone’s bookshelf can lead to great conversations as you see what interests they have and what you might have in common.

I confess that I do this all the time. I’m always perusing the bookshelves of my friends. It does tell you something about them, the kinds of books that they read. But as the post goes on to point out, what happens when someone’s personal library is on an ebook reader? Will the question, “Can I see your reader?” become a standard question on dates and when meeting new people?

Five Things Not on My Bucket List

As I enjoy my last year before I officially enter my Forties and henceforth start riding the downward spiral towards death that apparently is inevitable once you turn 40, I got to thinking about some of things I’d like to do before I die. I also got to thinking about some of the things I have no interest in doing before I die.

Here are five things that will not be on my Bucket List should I ever get around to making such a list.

5) Trek to the North Pole. Why in God’s name would anyone want to walk or sled all the way to the North Pole? No one lives there. It’s brutally cold. What kind of souvenir is there to get from there? A picture of me standing in a bunch of snow and ice? I can go outside and take that picture right now, but without spending weeks risking my life, fighting frostbite, and taking a dumps outside in sub-zero temperatures.

4) Climb Mt. Everest. Though I’m not afraid of heights, I’m not into mountain climbing. Yes, it’s a tall mountain. It’s also cold and dangerous up there. The air is so thin at that height that helicopters can’t even get enough lift to fly up there. Besides, if the place was as desirable and beautiful and amazing as people claim, there’d be a resort and spa at the top of the mountain with a cable car to ferry people to and from the place. There isn’t. Which tells you all you need to know.

3) Write a Memoir. I already write a blog and I’m on Facebook. There’s quite enough public knowledge about me and none of it is Tabloid Worthy, which is what you have to have in order to write and publish a memoir.

2) Get a Tattoo. I had once thought for a month or two about getting a tattoo. But then I realized at the time that I was over 30. Getting your first tattoo and being over the age of 30 is a sign of a Mid-Life Crisis. No, thank you. Not to mention that after 30 years they all look like a black and blue amorphous blob on your old sagging skin.

1) Run a Marathon. I like running. But like everything related to exercising, as a stay-at-home parent, I don’t have time to do it. Even if I did, I would not train for a marathon. Some people while running marathons lose control of their bowels. Not pretty. And, as my wife often points out, the Greek messenger who first ran what became known as the marathon died when he completed it…I do leave the door open to running a half-marathon.