I thought about writing this post after reading “10 Things I’d Like to Say to My Teenage Self” on my friend’s blog Hiding in the Bathroom. If you’ve never heard of the blog, go over there and give it a read. It’s a wonderful blog written by two people, one of whom is a good friend of mine.
Then a second post with this theme was written by the other half of the blogging team over there, and I thought, okay, I need to get moving on writing my own similar post. Maybe you even can call this the start of a meme.
So here goes. These are the ten things I would tell my teenage self.
10) Axl Rose is not as cool as you think he is.
9) Your parents are right: your attitude is for shit. When you change it, your life will start to change for the better.
8) You are never going to be able to grow a credible amount of facial hair. There is a consolation to this, but I’m not going to tell you what it is.
7) Girls who are interested in guys usually like to take the time to get to know you. So feel free to talk about yourself, but not too much. Girls will like you even more if you ask questions about them, listen, and then ask follow-up questions.
6) Sometimes, you really do have to say, “Fuck it!” consequences be damned. This applies to many situations. (Note: “Fuck off!” is NOT the same thing, you hothead.)
5) Contrary to how you feel, you are not, nor will you ever be, indestructible.
4) “Try it, you might like it,” is pretty solid advice not just for food but for most everything (except drugs).
3) You have the right instinct to get the hell out of your hometown. The world is an enormous place, and there is far more to learn and see than you can imagine. But do not be surprised if you find yourself harboring strong affections for certain aspects of the place of your youth, despite hating many others.
2) I won’t bore you with some trite advice about failure.
1) Life is not a sprint. Nor is it a marathon. Nor is it a game of any kind. Games have sharply defined rules and boundaries. Life has neither of those. As such, there are no sports metaphors adequate to the task of neatly summing up the vastness and intensity of all the possibilities, challenges, triumphs, and consequences of life. Besides, you don’t play or practice life, you live it.